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Good Tubbin'/Transcript
Oscar Leroy: They weren't kidding when they said it was hot. Emma Leroy: Tub-like too. Brent Leroy: Oh, there you are. Oscar: Yeah, what do you think? Brent: About what? Did you get a haircut? Oscar: No, look. Brent: New glasses? Oscar: We bought a hot tub you jackass. Emma: Hop in, it's great. Brent: Well, I'm more of a shower-guy. Shower alone type of guy. More of a not bath with my parents type of guy. Emma: You used to bathe with us when you were a kid. You kept crawling out of the tub. Brent: I can't imagine why. Anyway, I don't have a swimsuit. Oscar: I don't have one either. Brent: Another excellent reason to pass. Emma: He's wearing shorts. Well, underwear really. Oscar: Saves on laundry. Brent: OK. Fitzy Fitzgerald: Karen, Davis. I present to you, the future of community policing. Davis Quinton: Is it a robot? I hope it's a robot. Aw, it's not a robot. Karen Pelly: Did you really think it was gonna be a robot? Davis: I really wanted it to be a robot. Fitzy: Say hello to "Safety Pete." We're using him to promote safety week. Davis: Oh, dibs, dibs. I get to wear it. Senior officer, I get to wear him, that's an order. Karen: Go nuts. Davis: All right. Fitzy: I want him to inspire kids to be safe. Davis: I like that. And I think he should have more depth, a back story. Maybe he was a cop and was unsafe and something bad happened and turned him into a safety vigilante. And now he spends his time hunting the man who killed his parents, unsafely. Fitzy: Are you sure you won't do this? Karen: Sorry, I have my orders. Wanda Dollard: So, you're off then are you? Well, good luck in your travels and I hope you're happy wherever you end up. Hank Yarbo: I'm not going anywhere. Wanda: Oh, you big tease. Brent: What's with the hobo get-up? Hank: Oh, I can't stay at my place right now. Brent: Oh, that's right. I heard some lunatic drove through your kitchen. Hank: I just didn't see it. Brent: Yeah, those houses can jump out of nowhere. Wanda: So, drop us a postcard from whatever town you move to. Hank: I'm not leaving town. Wanda: Just planting a seed. Lacey: Hey, Brent mentioned that you guys got a hot tub? Oscar: Yep, tubbed just this morning. Emma: Coffee in the tub. Oscar: Coffee and toast in the tub. Emma: But you can't make toast in the tub. Oscar: That's in the tub manual. Emma: Which we read in the tub. Oscar: We sure love the tub. Lacey: I can tell. Emma: We're having a hot tub party. Oscar: You should come by, we'll tub. Lacey: Are you saying there's party in your tub and I'm invited? Emma: What's that supposed to mean? Lacey: It means I'll try to make it by but you have to stop saying "tub." Oscar: Tub. Hank: Hey buddy, I need a favour. Brent: Oh, here we go. Hank: Here we go what? Brent: You're not staying at my place. Hank: I know. Brent: And don't try and guilt me out with this "I know" stuff, I'm not buying it. Hank: I just gotta use the bathroom. Can you watch my stuff or not? Brent: Oh, I get it. I watch your stuff and then you get to stay at my place. Hank: Boy, you really want me to stay at your place. Sorry, but I made other arrangements. Brent: Yeah well, you may have made other arrangements but you're not staying at my place. Davis: I decided last night that when I was working on Safety Pete's character that he doesn't speak. Karen: That's something you should explore more with your Davis character. You ready? Are you ready? Davis: I was in character. Karen (speaker): Here he is, Safety Pete. Brent: I just hope Hank's all right. Wanda: Let him go, Brent. If he comes back he's yours. If he doesn't, he never was. Brent: I don't care where he's staying, I just don't know where he's staying. Nobody seems to know. Brent: Is Hank staying with you? Fitzy: Ha, ha, ha. Good one. Lacey: Hank? Karen: Ew! Oscar: What kind of a jackass question is that? Lacey: Hank? Emma: Are you drunk? Lacey: Hank Yarbo? Helen Jensen: I'd kill myself first. Wanda: Yes, he's staying with me. Jane: Uh-uh. Brent: What? Wait, what did you say? Wanda: He's staying with me. Brent: With you? Wanda: Yes. Brent: Really? That's like a cobra and a monkey living in the same house. I meant mongoose. Hank: Monkey and a mongoose? Man, I'd love to see that. Throw a badger in there, a ferret, one piece of meat. Brent: You're staying at Wanda's house? Hank: Yeah, I told you I had it covered. It probably gives her some comfort at night, having a man around. Wanda: Comfort's not the word and man's not even close. Lacey: Hello. Oscar: Welcome to the party. Lacey: Where is everyone? Category:Transcripts